Feb 9, 2014

A Look at Freedom

It has been a while since I have felt confident in writing a blog post. For a month or two it has seemed like my voice was just around the corner, or just behind a veil. After a lot of emotional breakthroughs, renegotiation of relationships, and deep realizations, I have finally felt like I am settling back into my Truth and my Self.

This week I watched the movie Cloud Atlas, and something happened in me. There has been this fear within… this deep worry that all the passion in the world is meaningless against the systems in place. I know it isn’t true, yet I fear it. This fear has kept me from speaking up and out – kept me from proclaiming my truth from the rooftops. Yet lately, a wall has been torn down, and while experiencing the movie and its many characters and story-lines something in me clicked: I am important. I may never know how or why, but I must not let the unknowing keep me from doing what I am here to do. So, last night, I allowed this to tumble out of me:

Inside each one of us is a desire for freedom. Yet, for most, there is a lack of understanding of what that yearning even translates into. What do we want in our freedom? What is it we seek freedom from, or freedom to? In this society of shiny objects and misrepresented truths most seem content with disillusion. How can one acquire this action, this experience?

Dozens of movies, books, and songs are made exploring this illusive requirement. How much freedom is too much? When does total freedom turn into total chaos?
A Balance must be upheld, for sure, but who’s job is it to uphold it? Is it the humans, ignorant of their trespasses and the effect of their kindnesses? Is it an elite minority, those who benefit greatly from a system designed to make ownership of every square inch of the earth?

What we each really crave is the shell of a healthy culture, one that within it contains the space for our unique creativity. As herd animals, we thrive in a certain degree of understanding. Yet the current state of arguing for truth and fighting for the One Right Way only causes more despair. There is NO One Right Way, yet each cannot find his own individual way; ’tis too much pressure for the communal mind. An agreement of appropriate behavior; a slight foundational boundary of belief about the nature of the world and one’s place in it… This is the most comfortable place for the human. And yet the greater portion of society has not found themselves in this place for thousands of years.

There is a pull from the forces who wish to control the resources. They wish to put it all under One Rule. Yet history has shown time and time again that humans’ hearts fight against this – even if to their death – every time. Right now, as I type, people are fighting to their death for their freedom – or loss of it – and the media scrambles to keep quiet the truth, to fuel the fires of propaganda. Even now, as I attempt to put into word the voiceless fears of generations, an increasing number of people take their own lives… unable for whatever reason to see themselves in a world like the one they live in.

My fear is that we will miss the opportunity to catch our chance before its gone. My worry is that we have been too numbed by fancy games and constant digital interaction and the promise of the American Dream. A Revolution has been long overdue, but the hesitation is great and the police state is ready. How can we admit this to ourselves? Isn’t it easier to call people who say these things crazy? Can we sleep better at night if we say that the YouTube videos of martial law drills are a hoax? But how will our grandchildren, and our great-grandchildren sleep if we continue to do nothing?

What would something even look like? Would we recognize it if we saw it? Would we have the strength to say yes, or would we walk away? My biggest question, is this: do we have the ability to work together – this huge mass of people who have become slaves to the corporate masters – and do something… ANYTHING…. about it.

My heart craves change, yearns for it, and yet fears it deeply. I like my comfortable living room. I look out at the snow outside and picture myself and my family living another way – any other way – and an unease fills me. Could I do it? Whatever “it” may be? Am I willing to risk the comfort of familiarity to stand up for the greater good of the planet and the future of my bloodline?

I feel a little bit like I’m all talk and no walk. I haven’t taken the wilderness classes, and I do rely on my husband for a lot of that “man” stuff. If we lost electricity and have to survive, I must admit to being a bit clueless. Taking karate has shown me just how weak I am when it comes to defending myself in a serious way. I am pretty sure that if I were to get attacked, laughing wouldn’t help.

That being said, I have been doing a lot of work on the inside. My toughness of spirit, and my connection to Truth have grown exponentially for years. I feel like I have the ability to support people and see things in ways few others can. I have been a part of a different training. I am prepared to use these tools.

And now, after many synchronistic messages from the universe, I feel I am letting go of that sense of powerlessness. Everything we do has an effect. All of our choices ripple out in ways we’ll never understand.

As long as we’re attached to getting back some sense of validation for the choices we make, we shall suffer; the ripples go out and on and out an on.

We can let go, and yet stay true to our heart, knowing that our choices and our purpose are not in vain. Whether we shall ever see the fruits of our labor, if our passion is expressed in our voice and our action, our place in this world is needed… we are important, each of us.

Please do not let the world be without your gift! Please do not let your life pass you by. Open your eyes and open your hearts. I do not pretend to know what to do, but I do believe that if each of us gives what we can’t say no to, the world will be a better place for it. I do know that giving up a sense of an outside Authority, and yet doing what you know to be right for the world lifts us all up.

Get up off your couch and from behind your desk. Put down your electronic devices and stand up. Stand up and what? I don’t know! Because I am not you. If I told you what to do I would just be the next dictator, or the next President. We have had plenty of both.

No one but your Heart is your master. Only you have to live with yourself in the darkest of hours and the longest of nights.

If you fill a pit in your stomach, deal with your demons and confront your shadows, but know that you are always – and have always been – a being of Light, and connected to all of creation. Your piece of the puzzle is so important to the whole, but you have to give it.

Only you know what it is. We need it. We need you.