Nov 8, 2013

Day 2 of Gratitude

As you may have read, I am participating in the 21-Day Gratitude Challenge put on by KindSpring, and I am sharing my experiences of gratitude here!

What is interesting, is I realized today that each day in the program has a theme. For some reason I had missed that part in signing up, and thought I would just be throwing out gratitude by the seat of my pants. With a theme, though, they are inviting us to go a little bit deeper. So today, instead of the “I am grateful for____ ,” I ended up sharing a story.

Today’s theme is: WHO DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN NEVER REPAY?

Wow. Well that definitely made me think. Ironically, the first couple of things that popped up in my head weren’t very pleasant things I’d like to repay! After laughing at my silly brain for going there, I allowed the answer to bubble up naturally. When the person came to mind, my heart immediately opened and tears found my eyes. Yup, that’s the person! Here’s the story I shared with the KindSpring Community:

I was in the middle of a custody battle and divorce with my first husband, and life was a bit scary. No job, staying with a friend, no savings, and now no kids. It was one of the most difficult times in my life, and I wavered between choices that were good for me and those that were obviously not. Looking back, there was one person in particular who saw through all of my drama & baggage. She went out of her way to stay in touch, let me know that I wasn’t alone, and to support me in whatever way I would receive. She saw my light without judging all the crap I was covering it up with, and despite my seeming to fall apart, she saw me as whole. Sometimes, this is all we need to keep on moving through the hard times toward the Truth. Now, a decade later, my life is amazing. I know that without that support, I would have likely chosen the easy way: alcohol, partying, and flakiness. I will never be able to repay her for what she saw in me, and her willingness to patiently draw it out. I do, however, try to pass on the gift she gave me as often as I can, with a heart full of gratitude that I am able to give it.

That woman was Rev. Lynn Johnson. I will be forever grateful for her place in bringing out the real me and healing wounds of the past. Of course, whenever I try to give her credit, she turns it around and says it was “all me.” I get that I was the one that made the choices, did the work, took the classes, gave the time, and had the commitment. And it is possible that I was so ready to step out of old ways of being that I would have manifested another person in her place had she not been there. Yet when I think about how small my view of the world and myself was then, I can’t imagine going through all of that without Lynn’s support, guidance, love, and honesty. I am so appreciative of these gifts, and know that I will never be able to come close to repaying them. And that’s ok.

I would love to hear your stories of gratitude. Who do YOU know that you can never repay?